


six lives robert dreamed and the one he lived

by reinacadeea



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: #1YearWithRobron, #robronversary, #sevendaysofrobron, Assorted Emmerdale Characters, M/M, chapter specific warnings in chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:58:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinacadeea/pseuds/reinacadeea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Robert lies in a coma, he dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	six lives robert dreamed and the one he lived

**Author's Note:**

> this works was supposed to be completed by the time the anniversary rolled around. It didn't work out that way for obvious reasons. Here is the one I actually managed to complete. 
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt: robron as dross   
> I very loosely used this and actually managed to make it about the crash instead. For the purpose of this story, Robert wasn't arrested. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

-

"If you stare any harder, you're gonna burn a hole in his suit." 

He startles and sees Victoria with her arms crossed standing in front of him. "I wasn't," he grumbles. 

She arches her eyebrow.

"Leave me alone, Vic," he tells her and pretends to do something else. 

She pretends to do the same. 

He still stares. 

It's torture watching Aaron not care and knowing he's the cause of it. He can't make it right and doesn't even know how. He's been trying so hard to save his rightful place at Home Farm that he's forgotten that he needs Aaron. And not just in a physical sense. 

He doesn't participate in the kitchen, mainly helps out Victoria when he can. It's boring work, but he gets to watch Aaron flitting about with Adam, being lads. 

He might also drink a bit too much.

"Never a guest, ey," Aaron spits at him later. 

"We can't all be invited out of pity," Robert replies spitefully. 

They stare at each other for a moment, almost dumbfounded because how has things turned so spiteful. This part of their relationship used to be fun, a turn-on. Now it's just hatred. 

Aaron finally turns away, shaking his head and Robert wants to go after him. 

"You're so mean when you drink," Victoria comments behind him. "Aaron doesn't deserve that." 

He tells her to leave him alone. Again. 

When Andy has done his third turn of Dad Dancing, it actually feels like he needs to puke from the fake happiness of it all. Debbie has never been happy a day in her life and suddenly this day is going to make it all better. It's fake and he hates it. 

He's reminded of another wedding, Andy and Katie's wedding all those years ago. He feels just as bad now as he did then, skulking in the corner because he isn't getting what he wants. 

He follows Kerry outside because he knows she's a party smoker and a bit of cancerous smoke is just what he needs. His life is wrecked anyhow. Who cares about a bit of smoking. Kerry is substituted by Dan and they watch the helicopter approach from afar.

"I should have gotten a helicopter for my wedding," Dan says wistfully.

"A proper car is all I need," Robert tells him. "Shame we didn't make it..." 

The helicopter explodes. 

-

His head rings. Or is it his ears? It doesn't really matter. 

"Vic?" he stammers and gets up, brushing off some of the dirt. "Vic!" 

"Rob! Andy! I'm over here!" she shouts and he sees Andy closing in on her voice. He follows his brother's example when he hears Chas screaming in the background. He falters slightly before focusing on his baby sister. 

He sees Pete rushing his cheating bride outside, skirts flowing behind them. But she's awake, clinging to his neck while she sobs into his shoulder. 

Victoria walks outside, clinging to her brothers and Robert checks her over, brushing the dirt off her face. He loves her. 

"No, Cain, let me go!" 

Cain is pulling at Chas who is struggling insanely and Robert narrows in on her distress. 

"My son is trapped! Let me go!" 

"It's unsafe," Cain shouts at her, but she struggles. 

Robert closes his eyes, swallowing and trying to focus on his sister being miserable. 

"Oh god, what's happened to Aaron?" she sobs. 

"It's probably nothing," he hears himself saying. "He's inside helping, saviour complex and all." 

"But what if he isn't?" Andy says and Robert turns around and runs. 

Cain sees him coming and storms inside after him.

Everything is carnage and he focuses shortly on Dan and Kerry sitting with a trapped Ruby. It's terrible, but it's not what he's in here for. 

"He's here," Cain says and they work together to clear away as much rubble as possible. "Aaron, wake up, mate!" 

Aaron is trapped beneath one of the pillars that was pushed down by the helicopter, midsection covered completely and making it impossible for them to move him. 

"Wake up," Robert pleads and feels for his pulse.

"Is he breathing? Robert, is he breathing?" Cain asks rushed. 

"I don't know," Robert stutters, caressing Aaron's dirty forehead.

He flashes back to the lodge and their terrible horrible fight, the three terrible seconds where he thought Aaron had met the same fate as Katie and the sheer relief when it was clear he was breathing. 

Cain grabs his shirt, menacingly. "Well, figure it out, Sugden!" he hisses. 

"Okay, okay," Robert says and closes his eyes for a second, pushing two fingers to Aaron's pulse point. "No. No. Oh God no." 

Knowing a life is on the line, Cain goes outside to shout for help while Robert frantically tries to find a solution to getting Aaron out of there. 

"If you die, Aaron, what am I going to do," he says, leaning down to brush his fingers over Aaron's left hand, lying free and lifeless in the dirt. "Don't die, okay? I'm going to get you out of here." 

The helicopter creaks and they need to get out of there before it falls. He sees Andy, James and Cain rushing in to help and they fight to free Aaron with all their might. Robert feels adrenaline pumping through his veins, making him powerful and unbeatable. He will save Aaron and this is the only way to do it. 

The pillar moves and Andy and Robert pull Aaron out. 

"Get a medic in here," Robert shouts because he can see blood. 

"We can't," Andy says. "The whole building is going to blow!" 

"I'm not leaving him," Robert says venomously and hoists up Aaron just a bit. He fits better like that. Even though he'd rather have him shouting insults than not breathing. 

Cain is shouting at them from the doorway until Andy grabs a hold on Aaron's legs and they him carry towards the door. The creaking from the helicopter grows and they struggle. He can feel the blast just as they've gone outside and he covers Aaron with his body, folding his arms around Aaron's head and the bloody wound. 

This blast is worse than the first one and he can feel Aaron moving beneath him. 

"Lie still," he shouts into Aaron's ear and they ride out the debris falling onto Robert's back. He can hear Chas screaming, maybe even Victoria, and he just wants to live. 

\--

The ambulance has already gone with Aaron and he looks after it, heart clenching in worry, wanting to follow as soon as it left. A paramedic is stitching up a wound on his arm and another is checking his back. It pinches and he can feel his skin pulling. They must have given him a sedative. 

"What happened?" Victoria asks, worriedly. 

"You haven't found Diane yet?" he asks, avoiding the question. 

She rubs his shoulder comfortably. "I wasn't asking about Diane, Rob." 

"Step aside, please, miss," the paramedic says pleasantly and Victoria takes a step backwards, wringing her hands. 

"You look terrible," she comments. "When you didn't get up after the blast..." 

He takes a good look at her and sees her quivering lip, her big eyes watering and he knows he's scared her. He scared himself. The first thing he remembers after the blast is being pulled away from Aaron by a pair of firefighters. His voice is still sore from screaming bloody murder at them. 

"Hey," he says softly and reaches out the arm the paramedic isn't working on towards his little sister. "I'm fine, right. No serious harm done. It takes more than that to kill a Sugden." 

She bursts out crying anyway. "You shouldn't have stayed with Aaron. It's his fault you went back inside. You and Andy." 

He pulls her closer. "I had to save him, Vic." 

With the search for Diane going worryingly slow, it's clear Val is in there as well and Victoria has to stay to look for her. Andy has to find his children with Debbie in another ambulance and Robert is shifted into an ambulance with that woman with the sharp tongue he can't remember the name of. 

"Do you want me to call your wife?" one of the paramedics asks and gives his ring a pointed look. 

"Don't bother," he says acidly. 

He's left alone after that. 

It feels pointless, he thinks, going through the motions, checking for head injuries and minor scratches. He makes a nurse cry and is told very politely to keep his mouth shut or else. 

"His boyfriend is in surgery upstairs," nameless woman from the village says. "Just tell him how he is and I think you've found the magic cure for his vile mood." 

"He's not my boyfriend," Robert mumbles annoyed, but it goes on deaf ears. 

"Aaron Livesy, you say?" the doctor asks Village Woman and she nods. "I received him in A&E. He was lucid at first, enough to tell us where it hurt. That's a very good sign." 

Robert hates his reassuring voice. It doesn't change the relief washing through him. 

"Robert?" 

He freezes and sees his wife, dishevelled and voice shaky, standing beside a tired-looking Adam. 

"You look terrible," she comments. "What's happened?" 

"A helicopter fell into the wedding," Village Woman says. 

"Yes, yes we saw Debbie," Chrissie says. 

"Poor Ruby's dead. Diane and Val are trapped in a mirror maze last we heard and Aaron's in surgery here." 

"Aaron's what?" Adam says terrified. 

"He was trapped under a pillar," Robert says, voice stronger than he feels. For the first time since the reveal, Chrissie isn't the focus of his thoughts or more accurately - isn't the focus of how to get Home Farm back. They are interchangeable, Chrissie and Home Farm, so intertwined that he can't figure out what he wants most. 

Chrissie seems less like the answer than ever before - since the lodge, since the wedding.

"Mr. Sugden here most likely saved his life," the doctor interjects. "At least that's what the paramedics are claiming." 

Chrissie looks like she wants to throw up, but it isn't from the doctor exclaiming he's some sort of hero. She looks sick because she looks afraid, like a realisation just overtook her. 

He can see it on her. She's got such easy eyes to read and he's got it down to a science. 

She caused it. Somehow, she caused it. 

He foregoes the doctor's pleas to stay put and charges after his estranged wife. He can hear her sobs and doesn't stop when she pleads him to. He finally catches a hold on her arm and pushes her against a wall. 

She cries out and he pushes into her space. 

"What have you done?" he says, voice low. 

"It's my fault," she whispers back. "I caused it." 

"How?" 

"The... the scrapyard," she stutters. "Your car was parked there and... and I just wanted you to suffer a little bit, like you made me suffer. And there were these gas canisters and I didn't see them until after the car exploded." 

-

It's justice, a strange sort of justice seeing Chrissie walk up to a police officer and telling it exactly how it is. No lies, no hidden agendas. 

He's too tired, too worn out to care that this is an opportunity to help her, to get back in her good grades. He doesn't care about her. 

Instead, he follows Adam upstairs. 

"You aren't welcome here, Robert," Paddy says and Robert knew it was coming, knew Paddy would always have the last say, knew it the moment Aaron turned on him, shouting at him in the lodge, forcing him to admits things he's barely admitted to himself.

"I don't want any trouble," he says and sees how tired Chas looks. 

"Cut him some slack, ey, Paddy," Adam cuts in. "He's just as worried as the rest of us." 

Paddy snorts. "It doesn't change what you have done," he says. "You're gone the moment he wakes." 

Robert nods. "Okay. That's fair."

Aaron doesn't wake, but he does get out of surgery. Chas and Paddy gets to sit with him while Adam, Robert and later Victoria holds a silent vigil outside in the waiting room. Victoria falls asleep with her head in Adam's lap and her feet over Robert's own. 

-

He doesn't keep his promise to Paddy and goes to see Aaron the next night, sneaking through the hospital like a pervert. Aaron's fine, Chas informed the pub. Val isn't, but he didn't love Val. Her death is a sadness, but not the personal kind. Th closest he's ever been to her was the night after Chrissie threw him out and he was the closest to pouring his heart out. The whisky helped. 

That was last week. This is now. 

Aaron is asleep when he opens the door, snoring softly, and he wants to reach out and touch his curly hair, free from its usual constrictions. It's a pang in the gut remembering he isn't allowed. Not anymore. 

He pulls a chair closer to the bed, not wanting to appear threatening. "Aaron," he murmurs softly. 

Aaron is and always will be a light sleeper. Too many things stir under the surface, forcing him into a permanent waking-living sort of state. He's tried to describe it plenty of times, especially that week enclosed at Home Farm, the world at bay and just the two of them. Robert only has to say his name two more times before he comes to slowly, a frown tightening his slack sleeping-face. "Robert?" he says, his eyes glittering from the reflection of the hall outside. 

"Hey," Robert says. His voice croaks on the 'y'. 

Aaron looks confused, then angry, then scared, before finally settling on curious with a smidgen of mistrust.

"Your guard, Paddy the Bald-headed Bulldog, didn't want me around," Robert tells him, trying for a bit of humour. 

"Mum says you pulled me out of the building, says you shielded me from the blast," Aaron says, voice deep with sleep. 

Robert wants to think about happier times, but it's so infused with bad that he can't tell them apart anymore. Nothing good has gone without the bad. Even, especially, their recent exhilarating reconciliation turned sour before they even had a chance to enjoy it. He wants it back, that brief hope. It's gone. 

"Why?" 

They both know why Aaron asks and they both know what the answer is. Aaron's death would have been a solution to all off Robert's problems. Katie's death sits atop it all like the crowning jewel, glorious and regal, a presence above them all.

But Robert can't. He pointed a gun at Aaron and told himself he should do it before it was too late, before Aaron became something so uncontrollable, more than he already was... is. He sees it now. All this time he's tried to control a person when it isn't the person he needs to control. Then he's tried compartmentalised his own feelings, tried to swallow them whole and forget the ugliness. Instead, he got it wrong. He panicked and tied Aaron to a radiator. 

"I need you," he says and hopes it's enough. It doesn't feel like enough. 

Aaron moves his hand closer to Robert and shifts it around, palms up, moving the tubes with the movement. It's an invitation. 

He bends forward, moving his head into Aaron's hand and grabs a hold on the bedding, clenching his fists. "I could have lost you," he breathes out and rubs his forehead against Aaron's hand, finding comfort in such a little way. Once upon a time he could have held Aaron's body, flung his arms around him and kissed him until his lips were red and cheeks flushed. 

This is merciful. 

When he feels Aaron's other hand in his hair, softly running his fingers through the fine hairs of his neck, his shoulders stop quaking and they relax in the darkness.

 

(16-10-15)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Christmas. I'm on tumblr as reinacadeea as well.


End file.
